Who are the new beer bloggers out there I should be following? Who is thinking about starting a beer blog but doesn't know if they should? This post by @BoakandBailey will set you in a good direction: https://t.co/g2HAuWVXV1— Matthew Curtis (@totalcurtis) January 15, 2020
I don't really count myself as a beer blogger. If I did, I'd certainly write more regularly and pick more interesting topics. The problem is I don't actually know that much about beer so my contributions to the conversation are limited. So, in the spirit of Boak & Bailey's Guide to Beer Blogging linked in Matthew's tweet above, here are my tips, based on my own experience, on what not to do if you want to join this eclectic, eccentric, engaging bunch of ty-pisseds.
1) Always avoid alliteration. Continuous and copious couplets, wearisome weak wordplay and plentiful predictable prose are always avoided.
2) Don't start your blog with the word I.
3) Don't write hideously long boring stories about how some random supermarket beer changed your life.
4) For the love of god don't try to mediate in a deathmatch between two warring factions
5) An embedded video from your embarrassingly painful YouTube channel is not a blog post.
6) Never, and I repeat never, try to be funny.
7) If you set out to attack a particular part of beer appreciation, make sure you attack the other side too, just to ensure that both sides think you're a tiresome wanker.
8) Always use the good and wholesome and paradigm shifting work of others as a convenient springboard to write your entitled white middle-class male guff.
9) If you want to get noticed, suck up to the big boys.
10) Seize the opportunity of current news or sporting events to shoehorn in the most tenuous of metaphorical comparisons into your latest screed.
and finally remember
11) Listicles are such old hat. You're a beer blogger, not BuzzFeed.